If you haven’t had depression before, it’s like walking through thick mud in a fog: everything’s slowed down, everything is just weird, and you can’t focus on any one thing.
The DWP has said that I’m healthy and fit to get a job, but if someone asked me what I wanted to do now I couldn’t tell you. If somebody said “here’s a job, you go and do it”, I’d do it. But to actually think and control what I want to do and go out and do it, I can’t, and that really scares me.
I’ve been going to Recovery Near You for the past 18 months or so, and I must admit that I thought it was a waste of time at first, as I was always drunk when I was there. But certain things click in your mind, and eventually you put it all together and it adds up to a really good thing.
I went for a liver scan and I lay on the bed and I just thought “what am I doing to myself?” and it kick started the thought process of getting off the booze.
In our groups we have regular sessions, and there are people with all sorts of different addictions. Talking to people at Recovery Near You, people in the same situation as myself, has made such a difference to where I am today. I’m not drinking now and I’m slowly getting back to normality.
Hear about Pete’s experience in this video: